February 14th can be the best or the worst of days, depending on your relationship status. This month our readers brought up some interesting and somewhat sticky situations that have nothing to do with the normal romantic dinners, roses and chocolates.
As a single woman, getting through Valentine's Day is a dreaded task, especially since most of my friends are in committed relationships and the influx of flowers to my co-workers is borderline obnoxious. Any advice for how I can get through this Hallmark holiday made for couples?
Valentine's Day is one of those overhyped holidays that seems to be more of a way for couples to flaunt their relationship status rather than celebrate their love; it’s over the top and in your face. Unfortunately, there's no way to avoid the overflow of flowers coming into your office. What you can do, however, is have a night all about you. You can celebrate your independence by doing things you like that you were never able to convince any of your old significant others to do. How about ordering in that indian food from your favorite restaurant or turning on that cheesy rom-com that no man can seem to handle? Rather than concentrating on the negatives of being single, you can focus on the positives. If you stick to your plan of a cozy night at home, drinking a glass of wine, and doing whatever you want, you may find this to be the best Valentine's Day you've ever had.
Last week I was out in the quarter and saw a boyfriend of a close friend of mine out with another woman.He had his arm around this girl and I have no idea who she is; he didn't see me, thank god. My friend, whose been going out with him for just a few months, called and said that he's planning on taking her out for Valentine's Day to a great restaurant to celebrate. Do I tell my friend that I saw her boyfriend getting cozy with another woman and possibly ruin this holiday for her?
This situation is always tricky. You want to tell you friend because you don't want her to get hurt later on, but you're scared that, if you do, things will go horribly wrong. It's a dilemma that many women face: tell the truth, or spare your friend her feelings. If the situation was that she had gained an extra few pounds this month, you can keep it your little secret; however, this is about a man that she is starting to get serious with, so the secret must come out. That being said, tread lightly. Instead of being accusatory and calling him out, tell her what you saw, but leave out what you think it means. That way you avoid the potential fight that could ensue if she takes your warning as a sign that you just hate her boyfriend. Although it will not be fun to bring this up with your friend, if you were in her place, wouldn't you rather know the truth so you don't waste your time on a guy who isn't serious about you? Though this Valentine's Day may end up being a bad one for her, she'll have room for improvement next year. And hey, if you're single too, you can have a fun ladies night in to celebrate the holiday.
I've had a crush on one of my co-workers for months now and I'm thinking Valentine's Day might just be the perfect opportunity to break the romantic ice and let him know how I feel. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this subtly just in case he doesn't quite feel the same way?
This is tricky because nothing on Valentine's Day is ever subtle. That being said, if you want to move things to the next level, you might not be able to be as subtle as you hope. If you really like this guy and are willing to throw caution to the wind, you should just ask him on a date point blank. This confident move may impress him and you won't have any confusion about his feelings toward you. Bluntness isn't every girl's style, though, and you said you want to do it subtly to see how he feels. Maybe start by testing the waters just by asking his opinion about Valentine's Day in general, asking him if he has any big plans. If he's an anti-Valentine's Day kind of guy, you can ask him to celebrate hating Valentine's Day with you. Ask him to do something more casual like grab some drinks after work. That way, you can chat and get to know each other more outside of the workplace. I am sure after a drink or two you will have a better gage on how he feels.
My husband always forgets Valentine's Day and I love the holiday. He can barely even get me a box of chocolates from Walgreen's. I want to do something special to show him how much I love him without making him feel guilty for his lackadaisical attitude. Any thoughts?
If Valentine's Day is your holiday and you love it, you should get as into as you want. Just because your husband doesn't put Valentine's Day at the same importance level as you do doesn't mean you cannot celebrate it how you want. Whether it is dinner and a movie, or a romantic candle-lit hotel room, you should plan whatever you want to plan. You don't need to hold back. Ask him out in advance; if he knows you are planning your date and planning on taking care of things, he shouldn't feel bad. Explain to your husband how much you love the holiday, and how tonight is the night you are in control of the date and what happens. Who says a woman cannot be the one who takes her man out on a romantic date? Emphasize that this is for the two of you to celebrate and what you have planned is something you want to do as well. This way you will get the Valentine's day you hoped for, and if you're concerned about him feeling guilty, by giving him a head's up he will have time to plan a little something for you too so he doesn't feel like he is neglecting you.
I broke an engagement with my fiance three years ago, but we still keep in touch and see each other as friends. He sent me a beautiful bouquet of roses the last two years on Valentine's Day and I have a feeling that he will do so again this year too. He's involved with another woman and I've just started dating a wonderful man who I really like. I don't want to lie to my new boyfriend, but how do I handle a gift of a dozen roses from another man?
If this is going to be year three of roses on Valentine's Day from your ex-fiance, it is clear that he has some unresolved feelings. You might want to talk with him and clear things up, or else this friendship is going to take a route you do not want it to; however, if he is dating someone and you think it might be serious, you may not be getting those flowers this year. If there is a casual way for you to bring up the roses with your ex—without seeming like you're expecting them—do so. There is no way you can hide receiving a dozen roses from your current boyfriend, and if he were to find out about them before you told him he may assume something worse than an ex who isn't quite ready to let you go. The bottom line is that you have to be honest with both of these men. You have to let your ex know it's no longer appropriate for him to send you flowers on Valentine's Day, and you have to let your current man know the truth behind the bouquet.